• La definición del cuerpo

    MASTECTOMIA: PARA MI UNA FACIL DECISION, AUNQUE DE COMPLEJOS EFECTOS. ES QUE AFECTA EL CUERPO, LA MENTE Y EL ALMA. EN ESTAS SEMANAS, MIENTRAS ME RECUPERO, ESCRIBO LO QUE VOY VIVIENDO, ASI COMO VA SALIENDO. HOY QUIERO HABLAR DE LA TRANSFORMACION DEL CUERPO, PERO DE UNA MANERA DISTINTA, CASI METAFÓRICA. Y TAN INTIMA QUE LAS PALABRAS FLUYEN EN MI LENGUA MATERNA.

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    Origen – la explosión interior

    El cambio comenzó en el interior, con una explosión de mis células inquietas, aceleradas por quién sabe que cruel estrés – y la predisposición heredada -. Se desató un crecimiento caótico en mis entrañas. Veloz. Células en pánico.

    Hablé con ellas para calmarlas. Llegaron los pensamientos de amigos desde todas las esquinas del mundo. Llegaron los medicamentos y las terapias. Los bisturíes precisos. El cáncer se retiró. Los pronósticos contemplan su posible regreso a largo o a corto plazo. Yo lo afrento. Espero que no vuelva. Que mi cuerpo se mantenga alerta, sí, pero fuerte y limpio, siguiendo su ritmo natural, libre de sobresaltos.

    Evolución – la transformación exterior

    Mi cuerpo ha evolucionado: primero desde adentro – fuera mi útero y ovarios – quedando como testigo la línea del tajo desde mi corazón hasta mi vientre. Ahora, las montañas de mis senos se han allanado, dejando trazos del bisturí y un vacío a cada lado de mi pecho. Aún frescos.

    hay que tener agallas para ser testigo de mi propia transformación
    con los ojos bien abiertos.

    La definición del cuerpo

    Mis formas han cambiado. Mi cuerpo es impreciso, aún no se define por completo. Y, lo confieso, hay que tener agallas para ser testigo de mi propia transformación con los ojos bien abiertos. Y cariño por este cuerpo; para seguir encontrando lo bonito y lo bueno, lo fuerte.

    Para que encuentre sus nuevas formas: con los pies bien plantados en la vida. El corazón ligero. Y la cabeza llena del universo.

    Este es el tercer capítulo en una serie sobre el impacto de mi mastectomía, de cuerpo a espíritu. Cada semana publico uno nuevo, en este mes de recuperación postoperatoria.

    Puedes leer el segundo aquí (ENGLISH)

  • Mastectomy: My inheritance, my choices

    FROM MY MATERNAL LINE, I’VE INHERITED MANY POSITIVE TRAITS SUCH AS INTUITION AND STRENGTH, BUT A GENETIC PREDISPOSITION TO CANCER ISN’T ONE OF THE POSITIVES. SINCE LEARNING THIS, I’VE MADE MY DECISION: AFTER THE REMOVAL OF MY OVARIES AND UTERUS LAST YEAR, I OPTED FOR A PREVENTATIVE MASTECTOMY. IT’S DONE NOW: MY BREASTS HAVE BEEN REMOVED.

    LEES hier de NL versie

    Maternal line

    We have a strong maternal lineage in my family, almost akin to a matriarchy. I was raised by formidable women, imbued with strength, sensitivity, intuition, and autonomy. It’s ingrained in my blood, in my DNA, and I carry it with pride. However, I’m also a carrier of the BRCA2 mutation, which elevates my risk for gynaecological cancers. That, too, is part of my genetic inheritance. I lost my mother to the ravages of advanced breast cancer. Her final weeks were a trial, and I bore witness to it.

    From Ovaries to Breasts

    The genetic predisposition first struck my ovaries like a hammer blow last year. But it could also affect my breasts, with an increased risk of 80%. Hence, a plan was formulated: initially focusing on my ovaries, uterus, and abdominal metastases, treated with chemotherapy, debulking, and HIPEC. The second phase targeted my breasts: a preventative mastectomy. It might sound like a straightforward plan, but the experience was naturally different.

    Making choices

    It’s a time of significant decisions, not always straightforward to make. For they are impactful decisions, not just for me but also for my husband, children, and family. From its effect on my self-image to my sex life, potential traumas for my children, employability, and my long-term survival perspective. It affects my quality of life.

    On my way to the hospital for a second consultation with the plastic surgeon | Jan 2024

    So, for me, the initial step was a no-brainer: a double mastectomy. But then came the questions. With each question, there was a sounding board, but it started with myself: did I want reconstruction or not? Then with the doctors (oncologist, surgeon): when was the best time for my body? Then the (plastic) surgeon, but also online, via specialized platforms and organisations: which reconstruction method was suitable? For me, the decision aid website from patient+ was valuable in preparing for discussions with the doctors because it enabled me to obtain more targeted information and ask questions. That made my choice much easier. Ultimately, I opted for lipofilling. A prolonged, impactful journey, but personally the best choice for me. This choice varies for everyone.

    On my way to another hospital for the mastectomy – 25 Maart 2024

    Impact

    As I write these lines, I sit on the couch, recovering from the operation. My breasts are no more. Thus far, no sorrow or pain. I’ve inspected the wounds and hollows, it was a bit shocking, I won’t lie. Yes, my breasts are gone, but so is the risk of cancer developing there. I can focus on the “ovarian front.” That provides relief, literally and figuratively.

    Though the decision for a mastectomy was straightforward for me, the impact of the mastectomy and its reconstruction journey is complex. Especially with recovery and reconstruction ahead. What does it do to the mind, energy, body, and surroundings? Therefore, this month, I’ll write about the impact of my mastectomy, from body to mind.