EVERY LOSS BRINGS WITH IT COUNTLESS OTHER LOSSES, A WIND OF GOODBYES. THE PAIN OF LETTING GO OF WHAT ONCE WAS. I’M SHARING THIS PAGE FROM MY PERSONAL JOURNAL BECAUSE IT CAPTURES ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS. BECAUSE I KNOW THERE ARE SO MANY OTHERS GOING THROUGH THE SAME. SUFFERING IN SILENCE. OR NOT EVEN ALLOWING THEMSELVES TO FEEL. OUT OF FEAR OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD. AGAIN. OUT OF FEAR OF BEING THE ONLY ONE. THE ODD ONE OUT.
IF THAT’S YOU, THEN THIS IS FOR YOU.
What if no one cares about what I’m going through? What if no one cares about me?
I’m tired of pulling on ties, on relationships. Tired of holding on to people I care about. It’s as if, to them, all my worth has vanished. As if I never did anything good. As if I was always a stranger—or just someone they barely knew. As if I never invested in love. As if I was always angry, always demanding, always too much. I don’t want anyone to read this. And yet, I wish someone would recognise it. The irony!
I feel so sad. So indignant. I don’t want to fall into this hole, but I feel the need to cry.
I need comfort. A glimpse of unconditional care, friendship, sympathy. I miss my sisters, my aunties, my cousins, my friends from another time—
from the time they liked being with me, valued me, asked for my advice, saw the good in me. The time when they stood by my side.
May my tears cleanse me. May these words console me.
May my strength carry me and put me back on my feet again. May my joy of living never leave me. ♥️🙏🏼
If you suffer in silence
If you’re one of those suffering in silence, I want you to know: you’re not alone. You’re not the only one. Yes, it is painful to allow the grieve in. But it is also cleansing and softening. Healing in a way. Do not fear for grieve to defeat you. Life force is much stronger. Cry all the tears you need. If you can’t do anything else, just breathe. And then, try to look at the stars again. Trust in your life force—it’s an endless source within you.
Do you relate to this experience?
How do you feel about it? Share your experience with us—together, we are stronger. And of course, you can always contact me directly. Or follow me on Insta: alba.espinosa.vd.bunt
